The truth about romance scams

In today’s busy, digital world, nearly everyone is plugged into some form of social media. It’s one of the main ways we communicate and it’s often where new friendships, and love connections are made. Unfortunately, it’s also where fraudsters pull their slyest schemes. Their main objective? To spark an emotional connection with an unsuspecting victim by lurking under the cover of false social media personas. 

How Romance Scams Start
A romance scam usually starts with someone reaching out to you online and showing a lot of interest. You might chat for weeks or even months. They might even send you gifts. But eventually, they'll ask you for money using different excuses like being sick, or needing financial help. 

Here, take a look at some of scammers’ favorite lies by the numbers:

• I or someone close to me is sick, hurt, or in jail (24%)
• I can teach you how to invest (18%)
• I'm in the military far away (18%)
• I need help with an important delivery (18%)
• We never met, but let's talk about marriage (12%)
• I've come into some money or gold (7%)
• I'm on an oil rig or ship (6%)
• You can trust me with your private pictures (3%)

Common red flags to Look For:

• They ask you to start communicating by text or personal email, away from the original site where you met.
• Claims that your introduction was “destiny” or “fate,” especially early in communication or after just a few contacts or a short time, they profess their love or strong feelings for you.
• Claims to be from the U.S. but is currently living, working, or traveling abroad.
• Asks for money, goods, or any similar type of financial assistance or they indirectly/directly ask for money, gift cards, or funds to pay credit cards.  If an online love interest you’ve never met in person asks you for money, that’s a scam. No matter what story they tell you.
• Asks for assistance with personal transactions (opening new bank accounts, depositing or transferring funds, shipping merchandise, etc.).
• After gaining your trust, they start telling you stories of bad luck or medical illnesses.
• Reports a sudden personal crisis and pressures you to provide financial assistance. Be especially wary if the demands become increasingly aggressive.
• Tells inconsistent or grandiose stories or their messages are poorly written and sometimes vague.
• Gives vague answers to specific questions.
• Claims to be recently widowed or claims to be a U.S. service member serving overseas.
• Disappears suddenly from the site then reappears under a different name using the same profile information.
• The profile you read on the site might not match everything they tell you.
• They offer various excuses for why they can’t show you more photos of themselves.
• They delay meeting in person or talking with you on a video chat.
• When you do agree to meet, they cancel or postpone due to some emergency.

Don’t be a victim, check out these tips and take them to heart:

• If you’re suspicious, Google the message text he/she sends you.   Unlike spam, dating scams require a fair amount of work from the criminals – so they tend to cut corners. Often, the ‘romantic’ message you receive has been sent to dozens of other people. Put quotes around it and Google it: if it brings up results from former victims, you should start to worry. If the messages are in broken English, but your lover claims to be American, it’s another good reason to be cautious. Ask for advice from a site administrator, or a friend.
• Don’t be ashamed to ‘play detective’.  Millions of people use dating sites, but they DO carry risks that normal dating does not. You don’t know whether the person you are speaking to is real, where they’re from, or whether the photos are of them, or someone different. In the old days, you would often meet people via friends of friends–but you don’t have this reassurance online. So play detective.  If they won’t tell you where they work, worry. Likewise, if they keep asking questions about you, but never answer any about themselves, worry. Search for them on LinkedIn, or just via Google – it’s almost impossible NOT to leave traces online these days. If someone has not, they probably are not real.
• Romance scammers profess love quickly. They might say they can’t meet you because they’re overseas for business or military service — but, during the pandemic, they might just say they’re locked down.
• Most cyber criminals do not use their own photographs. They use an image from another social media account as their own. A reverse image search can determine if a profile picture is being used elsewhere on the internet, and on which websites it was used. A search sometimes provides information that links the image with other scams or victims. To perform a reverse image search on profile photos:
   -Right-click on the image and select “Search for image.”
   -Right-click again and select “Save image as” to save the photo to your device.
   -Using a search engine, choose the small camera icon to upload the saved image into the search engine.
   
• Don’t share ‘racy’ photos with people you have not met.  One variation of today’s dating scams is a simple one – blackmail. Do not hand over pictures you would be embarrassed to see published online–otherwise, you’re at risk from blackmailers. Even racy messages can be a tool for criminals – particularly if you’re attached. Keep things clean until you know your ‘romance’ is real. Allowing someone to see you via webcam, or to, for instance, undress on webcam, is particularly risky.
• Do not send money, ever.  The ‘red flag’ moment comes when your ‘lover’ asks for money. Do not send it - whether it’s for flights, or for life-saving surgery. Not even if the story is so tragic you feel you HAVE to help. If the subject of money comes up early in a relationship, be wary. If someone asks outright for a Western Union payment, gift card, cryptocurrency, or bank wire transfer, you may well be dealing with a criminal. Speak to a site administrator if possible. Talk to a friend – or ask for advice from an independent agency, or local law enforcement. 

Long-distance love DOES happen – but be wary. Look for these red flags and use the tips above to verify the legitimacy of your love interest before getting involved.  Knowing how to spot a romance scam could save you from a whole lot of heartache…and a financial disaster!